I wish I could mend my broken pieces,
Or maybe just be able to make myself happy.
I've lived a farce all these while,
I don't recognize the smiling face in those pictures,
I don't recognize myself.
Like a pawn in a chess game,
I've played as a pawn all my life,
Being used by everyone and everything.
There's this pain that lances through my chest,
Whenever I deign to remember my past.
They say happiness lies at the end of a rainbow,
But the month of rainbows made me even sadder.
I feel dead inside,
My mind going through systematic motions,
Just to keep my heart beating.
I'm losing my mind gradually,
Losing the very precepts upon which I was made a poet.
Depression and repression,
I wish it wasn't so hard to exist.
What's happiness when the light,
Only reminds you of the darkness.
When joy reminds you that there's sorrow,
When life reminds you that death exists.
Am I ever going to be able to stop making contrasts?
Am I ever going to be truly happy with myself?
I'm fading to dusk,
I've forgotten how to spell my very own name.
I just want somebody to remind me that one day,
Every pain I've been through,
Every tear that fell from my face,
Every smile I faked,
Everything would be worth it.
I write this as dry eyed as possible,
There's no need for tears when your eyes has cried oceans.
There's no need to fight when it only reminds you of all you've lost.
One day I'll remember my name.
One day...
Victor Mairo
The_Lost_Poet
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