Once again, I lost the will to live,
And the walls absorbed my screams,
As they absorbed everything else-
The sins of my fathers and my mothers,
And all the secrets
whispered
in between sheets.
I close my eyes to see more clearly,
The blood seeping through the cracks.
Sometimes, all we need is to breathe in deeply,
The music of our bodies,
The stories our scars tell,
Devoid of layers and layers of ambiguity,
Free of the need to put on a show,
For an audience that couldn't care less.
Once more, I find myself listening,
For my return,
From the in between,
Where I am neither sight nor sound,
Nor life nor death.
Where I am not constrained by the laws of physics,
Where I could ignore the rules of existence.
In the skin of my mother,
I was whole,
And I have never felt like I belonged
Anywhere else
But within the walls
Where I could fade
Sightless, soundless,
Absorbent
Of thoughts and emotions,
Those I could never feel on my own.
©May
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