I'm not here again to sputter rhymes
I'm here to say how i feel in times like this, times like now.
A feeling of my inability to control and put my dreams in check
A feeling of a lost quest.
Love is a lost cause.
A feeling of wasted times and a life of regret.
A feeling of weakness
A feeling of uttermost insanity.
Times without number, I've had my share of blurry clarity
Living my life for others
Living for their validation
Forgetting the fact that i also have to pay homage to my needs and self esteem.
How do you hurt people who love you, how.
I give up
My heart is full
My pride is hurt
My feelings are blunt
My body aches
My pen bleeds.
I have conversations with unknown beings.
My world takes me for a spin once its past midnight, i won't tell you lies, i live my life in fright.
I'm empty
Yet full
Broken yet fixed.
All i ever wanted
All i ever needed
All i am
All i hope to be
Right in front of me,
I reach for it and voila!
A mirage.
Living in my head
Human connection was sacred.
I know a lot of people
A lot of people know me
But who am i
I give up.
Abuse has been the map i followed since 11
Once, twice, thrice, it became a norm i no longer fought
My innocence - defiled
Do i have a purpose
Or not
Am i who they say i am
Or not
Do i still live for others
I do.
Its over.
But till i say it is
Its not.
Diddie